Ah, Saturday afternoon and overnight in Kings A+E. This is going to be a corker. If alcohol doesn't feature in 50% of the injuries, I'll be astonished.
One nurse noted "I had 'ping pong ball in anus' the other day in Trauma". That's got to chafe. "They had four and then noticed there were only three left". Thank goodness she left the detail to the imagination. Wonder what happened with the bats.
Oh, look, intoxicated students, injured after falling from a bar they were dancing on. Alcohol, stupidity and gravity; kerching - the pisshead triad. They were trying to look after each other, which was sweet, but doing so while four sheets to the wind made it a little futile. Amusing to see their friend assert to the nurse that their head injury wasn't serious. Glad that you've got CT-level vision there, sunshine.
Grudging respect to builder Colin who had his forearm opened up by a knife in an attempted cellphone mugging. He seemed quite happy scrutinising the injury which opened up around 10mm of flesh, and was concerned but not panicked about loss of sensation in his finger which likely indicated nerve damage. Had been drinking but that didn't seem relevant to the injury so I'll let that one pass. He seemed relatively relaxed about the docs prodding the injury, that's a man with a substantial pain threshold. This was confirmed by him removing his own stitches to get back to work sooner.
I have to confess to a growing respect to senior sister Jen, who has seen everything and is near-terminally laid back about an increasingly demented night shift. She knows biological facts that no-one should need to know, and confirmed the 50%+ alcohol-induced injury proportion for the key shifts. She handled combative patients and stressed relatives with aplomb combined with don't-screw-with-me-sunshine firmness.
Father and son brought in with "samurai sword" and blunt trauma injuries, though the son's holes didn't look that large to me (they were in dangerous places though) following gatecrashing of a family party.
A couple of predators decided they wanted to come in and "no" wasn't an acceptable answer. Wonder what their crime history looked like.
Catherine was a classic PFO who "started to feel unwell" after an evening out with friends. Drank enough to start inducing apnea, which caused no little concern. I'd suggest hot sweet coffee, p.r.. She claimed that "her drink was spiked". Mmmm...
Moral of the evening: if you need to go to A+E with an injury that will be treated in Minors, don't go on Saturday night; you'll be there until Sunday daybreak. And it's probably your own fault.