How to build the perfect man bun

Note: this is not to be confused with how to build the perfect man buns, which is an entirely separate topic and not one I will be addressing any time soon in this blog.

  1. Grow your hair out to at least 10 inches in length. This may take you a while. Any length above this is also fine.
  2. Wash your hair. Yes, this really does matter. Any shampoo will do, but do not use conditioner or a shampoo+conditioner combined product - you don't want smooth conditioned hair.
  3. Blow dry hair, thoroughly. Comb out so that it is moderately straight. Don't add any styling product.
  4. Obtain a pair of hairdressing scissors, either new or well sharpened.
  5. Visit any workplace with large rotating machinery.
  6. Holding the scissors firmly, carefully lower the end of your hair into the rotating machinery. Once it obtains a grip, frantically shear away at your trapped hair with the scissors until your head is free.

The net effect should be a lifelong aversion to having long hair at all, let alone a man bun.