The vignettes from tonight's slice of life at Kings A+E:
- "Fall from a tree? He's probably absolutely trolleyed." I'm not taking that bet. We also saw from a maimed carpenter that electrical tape is just as good as, if not better than, Elastoplast.
- A good friend is one like Patrick who will hold a bowl under your jaw while you vomit into it, while he is completely sober. Such friends are rare, treasure them. He even bigs up your past heroic deeds to the nurse who's about to stitch up your nose.
- Oh, another stab victim (left side upper abdo). Didn't see much of him beyond ten seconds just before the ad break, and there was no narration about his injury but it was a small but obviously deep isolated wound to the front of the abdomen. I got the message.
- The poor sod who got stuck between a cherrypicker and a car was, nevertheless, painfully lucky. He just wanted to go home but, as the consultant pointed out, his pain relief choices were between paracetamol at home or morphine in hospital. After that kind of squash, I'd take all the opiates that were on offer.
- Unknown male with a head injury; fall from a ladder onto concrete (height unknown), intubated with severe traumatic brain injury. He had a mobile phone but it's locked - who can unlock it? Turned out to be a chap called Nicholas who, it appears, was very near to biting the big one. He's still a long way from fully recovered but a light year from the state he was in after the accident. Good job by the neuro guys and all the rehab team.
- When the A+E nurse is acquainted with your model of vegetable cutter (a mandoline) it's a sign that you should change to a different one.
- Ironic that Darren who fell through a window while cleaning it, saw his arteries spurting blood over the walls and ceiling, and wrapped his arm up in a towel to control the bleeding, didn't feel he could watch the nurse sticking him with a local anaesthetic. There's no accounting for taste. Incidentally, that's why you shouldn't clean your windows.
The trailer for next week's episode showed an ominous red stain halfway down the ambulance trolley when the patient was transferred off it.