Showing posts with label free speech. Show all posts
Showing posts with label free speech. Show all posts

2025-09-10

Well, this isn't good - why you should worry about the martyrdom of Charlie Kirk

Unless you've been at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, or only subscribe to MSNBC, you would have been hard pressed to miss the assassination of Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk, at university speaking event in Utah. He's not the first victim of a political assassination, and he won't be the last. But...

Konstantin Kisin commented that it feels like we have crossed the Rubicon for some reason, and (talking to a wide variety of USA friends) I would have to agree. I'm not even sure we can articulate it, but I'm going to have a go. The very broad feeling I have, is that there are fifty to eighty million evangelical Christians in the USA, nearly all law abiding, but many many of whom are heavily armed; imagine those people (and their weapons) being put into a barrel, and someone throwing a Molotov cocktail into it. You are going to experience quite a bang.

Trump's attempted assassination in Butler, PA was a near-miss. It definitely ignited the Republican base - not least because of the lackadaisical approach of the Secret Service leadership in failing to plan his protection - but even back then, people commented about how near a miss it was of an event that would make the climatic scene in "V for Vendetta" look like the Teletubbies.

As Utah author Larry Correia noted:

Charlie Kirk was one of the least offensive debaters I've ever seen. He would actively invite those who disagreed with him to the front of the line at his college campus debates, and respectfully engage them. He would use words and reason, not violence, not hectoring, to advance his thoughts - and the success of his organization Turning Point USA (and now Turning Point UK) acrosss student campuses reflected that. He was married with two little kids, who are now without a father. I'm sure that conservatives will ensure that his widow and kids are provided for financially, but you can't replace their dad.

Every conservative with half a brain cell is now thinking: "if they are willing to go after Charlie Kirk... who else is in their sights?" And going online to Lucky Gunner dot com to order a new brick of ammunition.

I have to echo many other conservative bloggers, talking to the radical left on X and other channels tonight:

Are you really, really sure you want to do this? Because it is not going to work out like you apparently think it will.

2024-07-21

Why the Democrats hate the Second Amendment above all others

Dear readers! My apologies for a lack of recent posting. Rest assured, I continue to post here on topics that are beyond the X.com/Twitter capacity for content.

It has long puzzled me why the Democrat wing of the USA political establishment - and, indeed, only a relatively small subset of those people - demonstrate an antipathy towards the 2nd Amendment of the United States Constitution which can only be described as "rabid". Why do other Amendments not attract the same magnitude of hate? In this post, I endeavour to explain.

First, a primer. After America was founded, they created the US Constitution, and then 15 years later in 1791 published the "Bill of Rights" - the first 10 Amendments to the Constitution. They set out broad areas where the State may not infringe on the rights of the individual, and were ratified by 3/4 of the original States. Select amendments are:

[Amendment I] ("the First Amendment; Freedom of Speech")
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
[Amendment II] ("the Second Amendment, Ownership of Firearms")
A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
[Amendment VI] ("speedy trial and assistance of counsel")
In all criminal prosecutions the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

The international reader may read this throughout, and ask themselves "so? and what? Therefore... ?" Why would any particular Amendment be more important than the others.

The answer is twofold: the Second Amendment is not amenable to nullification, and the Second Amendment gives the population the ability to say "no" to politicians - and make it stick!

This year, with the frankly meteoric rise of Twitter/X as an un-censored social media platform - Jack Dorsey having ridden off into the sunset, and Elon Musk having taken over and done a Herculean job of cleaning the Twitter stables - we are starting to see clearly the amount of censorship that has been applied to communications in the USA over at least the last four years - COVID, the 2020 election, Hunter's laptop, etc. This has been a very clear demonstration that the elites in the USA have been systematically underminding the freedom that the First Amendment provides for speech.

As Agent Smith points out to Neo in the original Matrix movie: " Tell me, Mr. Anderson... what good is a phone call... if you're unable to speak?"

When YouTube, FaceBook, Twitter (as was) and others all obligingly collude in down-ranking, hiding or just plain deleting speech that government entities don't approve of, the First Amendment might as well have been written on toilet paper. It's easy to give vocal support to the First Amendment, as long as you know opponents can't be heard.

Now we have Elon Musk and the relative freedom of X/Twitter, we are not at the end of Internet censorship, but at least we have turned the page to a more hopeful chapter. Still, Elon is but one man, and we know what can happen to "difficult" men.

The Sixth Amendment implies fairness of the judicial system - a speedy trial and assistance of counsel. Of all the amendments, this one is the most ridiculously easy for the Democratic Party to subvert. Most lawyers, prosecutors, AGs, and nearly all law professors are Democrats. It's wild luck that the Supreme Court happens to have an approximately conservative majority right now - and even that shouldn't be taken for granted. So when the law is wielded as a weapon to silencem , bankrupt, jail, or otherwise ruin individuals for the Democratic Party's ends, no-one is falling off their chairs in surprise. Consider the jokes about Epstein's "suicide" - all those that were made in advance of the actual event.

No, ladies and gentlemen, the Amendment that the Democrats absolutely hate is the Second, and here's why. As noted, it gives the individual - or groups of individuals - power to resist imposition of tyranny. At the small scale, when the Democrats release their usual BLM protestors to riot in a town, in order to bring some local government to its knees, the ownership of firearms is what lets entire sections of the town stand up to them and "encourage" them to go home. See what happened in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina - individual neighborhoods quickly formed posses with shotguns and rifles to guard their entry points against looters. See why Kyle Rittenhouse was armed in Kenosha, Wisconsin - protecting an Indian-owned garage (whose owners appear to be ungrateful bastards, but that's another story) against the next evening of riots.

But guns are unique - they are almost impossible to control. Once they are in the hands of a population, how do you regain control over them?

  • Confiscation - good luck. There is no national register of guns, and state-wide efforts to impose local registries have had a tiny complliance rate. When pushed, the good citizen will report "I lost them guns in a tragic kayaking accident. Got a warrant?"
  • Neutralization - impossible. There have been a few conversations about giving guns a "kill switch" (ironically) but a) no-one would buy one, and b) 400M+ guns already out there don't have one
  • Ammunition - I don't know how much ammunition is already out there, but you can figure it in the hundreds of rounds per gun. Kept in good conditions, ammunition can easily last 50 years.
  • Voluntary recall - cities do this all the time, and mostly get rusted-out crap that is more of a danger to the owner than to the victim. Exceptions might be widows who didn't like their husbands' gun collections.

The sheer impossibility of overcoming the Second Amendment is what seems to drive politicians like Hillary Clinton, Kathy Hochul, and Gavin Newsom absolutely crazy. All they can do is try to impose pointless and ineffective restrictions on gun owners, e.g. background checks for buying ammo, which - of course - don't inconvenience criminals one bit, but drive up the blood pressure of legal gun owners, who then go out as soon as they can and buy more guns and ammo in anticipation of the next round of restrictions that they're mostly going to ignore.

When push comes to shove, tyrannical politicians know that at any point they could be looking out of their window at a thousand heavily armed citizens, who have had enough of being pushed around and so have come to introduce them to retirement. And that is a possibility that keeps their worst instincts in check. God Bless the Founders for the Second Amendment.

2023-04-01

A short history of the Trans movement

Roman times

Trans woman: I like to wear dresses
Man: Dude, we already wear togas
TW: I'm a woman
Man: if you've cut your balls off, you're a eunuch, not a woman. Not that there's anything wrong with that!
Woman: a big strong man with no interest in women to guard the harem - what's not to like?
TW: I want to have babies!
M: Where's the fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?

Middle Ages

TW: I like to wear dresses
M: The Catholic Church might be just the thing for you
TW: I'm a woman
M: I'd keep that quiet while you're leading Sunday Services
TW: Though I still do enjoy perving on and bullying women from time to time
M: Like I said, Catholic Church
W: (told to keep her mouth shut)

Late 20th century

TW: I like to wear dresses
M: Seems to work for the Scots
TW: With nothing underneath
M: As I said...
W: At least, shave your legs
TW: And wear makeup!
M: The major advantage of men in getting ready quickly in the morning, and you just piss it away
W: Top tip: use about 80% less. And don't steal my stuff.
TW: I'm actually a woman
M/W: Sure, Jan

Early 21st century

TW: I like to wear dresses
W: How bold! How brave! How lovely!
M: You look ridiculous, but that's up to you
TW: I'm really a woman
W: Yes, yes, of course
M: You're really a loony
TW: I want to use women's bathrooms
W: Err... should I say something? Mustn't look judgemental
M: Weirdo
TW: I'm actually a woman
M/W: You don't have a vag
TW: I've got them to make me a vag
M/W: Oh my. Ewwww

2010s

TW: I am woman, hear me roar!
M/W: Okay ...
TW: Call me Agatha
M/W: Okay!
TW: Address me as "Miss"
M/W: Wut?
TW: Haters! BLASPHEMERS! I'll get you fired
M/W: Okay, "Miss"
TW: Time to start picking up easy trophies in womens' sports
W: What the hell?
TW: Haters! BLASPHEMERS!
W: (shuts up, simmers)
TW: Ah, a woman's locker room. Please admire my penis
W: Get out!
TW: Haters! BLASPHEMERS
W: I'm starting to think we made a mistake
TW: Hmmm... how to reproduce given the obvious but unfortunate biological obstructions ...?

2020s

TW: I am woman, hear me roar!
W: But... (Gets punched in the mouth)
M: That's not very lady-like
TW: Haters! BLASPHEMERS
Antifa: We'll burn your fuckin' city to the ground, transphobe
TW: I'm enjoying my new job as an elementary school teacher
M: What in the name of X is this 1st grade lesson plan about anal sex?
TW: All your kids are belong to us
M: (starts building up his household armory)
W: Wait, what's going on here?
TW: I'm taking all your sports trophies, and cancelling you if you object
W: (weeps)
TW: full public obedience and obeisance to the Trans cause, or we'll destroy you
M/W: (moves out of California, Oregon, NY, DC if they can)
TW: Christians? Legit targets. Let's leave the Muslims alone for now, they look like they might be a bit challenging.
W: (insists that husband purchase pastel grips for her pistol)

I don't know where this ends, but it's not going to be pretty.

2022-12-26

The Twitter Whistleblower report - how bad was Twitter, really?

Prompted by a post by everyone's favourite Portugal-based squirrel-torturing blogger, Tim Worstall, I thought I'd dive into the practical implications of all the (frankly, horrendous) technical, security and privacy problems that Twitter was identified as having before Elon Musk rocked up as owner and CEO.

Usual disclaimer: I'm going by the reports. Reality might be different. I cite where I can.

For background: both USA and European authorities take a dim view of corporate access to, and usage of, individual user data. Remember the European "ePrivacy Directive"? Also known as the "'f+ck these annoying cookie pop-ups' law"... Governments in both Europe and the USA are keenly interested in companies tracking individual users' activities, though my personal opinion is that they're just jealous; they'd like to do it too, but they're just not competent. Anyway, a company doing individual tracking at large scale for profit - Twitter, Google, YouTube, Meta, Amazon - attracts their attention, and their laws.

Security

Let's talk about security - and, more importantly, access to secure data. A fundamental principle of security is "least privilege" - everyone should have the smallest set of access privileges to be able to do their job. You could argue that 5000+ people in Twitter "need" to be able to change things in production at some point to do their jobs, but they certainly don't "need" to have always-on, cross-production access. Not least, because someone running a command they found on an internal playbook as an experiment, could easily break a large chunk of the service. But don't rely on me, ask their job candidates:

Twitter's practice was a huge red flag for job candidates, who universally expressed disbelief. One Vice President of Information Technology [his current role, not the target role] considered withdrawing his application on the (accurate) rationale that Twitter's lack of basic engineering hygiene in their arrangement presaged major headaches.
Hire that guy.

Certainly, every company is far from perfect in this area, but those with regulators are continually seeking to narrow the number of people with access, and the scope of access those people have. Twitter pre-Musk clearly did not give a crap about the count and scope of access. One can only imagine why; were they, for instance, relying on a large base of pre-approved employees to intercept and downgrade/block opinions outside the mainstream? How would we tell if this were not the case? Can Twitter show that they were engaged in a systematic reduction of number and scope of access to production? If not, who will be held to account?

Auditing

Control is one thing - but at least, if a human performs an action in the production environment (change, or query), that action should at least be logged, so future audit can see what happened. This is not a high bar, but was apparently too high for pre-2022 Twitter:

There was no logging of who went into the production environment or what they did.
FFS
To make clear the implications: in general, there was no way of finding out who queried (for their own purposes) or changed (deleted posts, down-rated users, etc) the production environment at any particular time. "Why did [event] happen?" "Beats the hell out of me, someone probably changed something." "Who? When?" "No idea."

This is particularly interesting because Twitter's Chief Information Security Officer - who resigned post-Musk - was also their former head of privacy engineering, and before that, apparently, global lead of privacy technology at Google. One could only imagine what that implies.

Control

There is also a wide range of engineering issues. Data integrity (not losing user-entered data) was obviously a critical issue, but Twitter had been aware for a while that they teetered on the edge of a catastrophic production data loss:

even a temporary but overlapping outage of a small number of datacenters would likely [my italics] result in the service going offline for weeks, months, or permanently.
This is not quite as bad as it first seems. After a year or so in operation, companies have a fairly good idea what happens with a datacenter outage - because they're more frequent than you imagine. Say, Henry the intern accidently leans against the Big Red Button on the datacenter floor, that cuts power to everywhere. Or you do a generator test, only to discover that a family of endangered hawks have made their nest in the generator housing for Floor 2... So you get used to (relatively) small-scale interruptions.

If you want to run a global service, though, you need to be able to tolerate single site outages as routine, and multiple site outages (which turn out to be inevitable) have to be managed within the general bounds of your service's promised availability - and latency, and data availability. Even if all your physical locations are very separate, there will inevitably be common cause failures - not least, when you're pushing binary or config changes to them. So, don't wait for these events to sneak up on you - rather, anticipate them.

This means that you have to plan for, and practice these events. If you're not doing so, than a) it will be obvious to anyone asking questions in this area, and b) when things inevitably do run off the rails, there will be bits of burning infrastructure scattered everywhere, around the highly-paid morons who are busy writing memos to cover their asses: "how could we have foreseen this particular event? Clearly, it wasn't our fault, but pay us 20% extra and we might catch or mitigate the next such event."

Go looking for those people. Fire them, and throw them into a den of hungry pigs.

Leaving the doors open

By far the most horrific aspect, however, was the general relaxed attitude about government agencies - and heaven only knows what other NGOs, cabals, and individuals - having under-the-table access to Twitter's data. Just the tolerance of user-installed spyware on privileged devices would be enough for any sane security engineer to be tearing out their hair, but actually letting in individuals known to be employed by foreign - and even domestic - governments for the purposes of obtaining intelligence information, and potentially affecting the flow of information to their and other countries... one is lost for words.

At some stage, Twitter had to either grow up, or close down. Under Dorsey's crew, the latter was inevitable - and likely not far away. It's still too early to tell if Musk can get them to option 1, but there's still hope.

2018-09-06

Victimhood poker - the implementation

Back in 2006, blogger Marlinschamps proposed the rules for the game of victimhood poker. In a spare couple of hours last weekend, I decided to code this up so that we had an implementation of it. Beloved readers, here is that implementation. It's in Python; I show it in chunks, but it should all go in a single file called e.g. victimhood.py.

First we define the cards in the deck, their points, and their class:

#!/usr/bin/python
# This code is in the public domain. Copy and use as you see fit.
# Original author: http://hemiposterical.blogspot.com/, credit 
# would be nice but is not required.
import random
deck = {
 # Key: (points,class)
 'Black':           (14, 'skin'),
 'Native-American': (13, 'ethnicity'),
 'Muslim':          (12, 'religion'),
 'Hispanic':        (11, 'ethnicity'),
 'Transgender':     (10, 'gender'),
 'Gay':              (9, 'none'),
 'Female':           (8, 'gender'),
 'Oriental':         (7, 'ethnicity'),
 'Handicapped':      (6, 'none'),
 'Satanist':         (6, 'religion'),
 'Furry':            (5, 'none'),
 'Non-Christian':    (4, 'religion'),
 'East-Indian':      (3, 'ethnicity'),
 'Hindu':            (3, 'religion'),
 'Destitute':        (2, 'economic'),
 'White':            (0, 'skin'),
 'Straight':         (0, 'gender'),
 'Christian':        (0, 'religion'),
 'Bourgeois':        (0, 'economic'),
}
# Categories in the order you'd describe someone
category_list = [
 'economic','none','skin','religion','ethnicity','gender',
]
categories = set(category_list)
In addition, a couple of helper functions to make it easier to ask questions about a specific card:
def cardscore(card):
 """ How much does this card score? """
 (s, unused_cls) = deck[card]
 return s

def cardclass(card):
 """ What class does this card represent? """
 (unused_s, cls) = deck[card]
 return cls
Now we define what a "hand" is, with a bunch of functions to make it easier to merge other cards into a hand and compute the best score and hand from these cards:
class Hand(object):
 """ A hand is a list of cards with some associated scoring functions """
 def __init__(self, start_cards=None):
  if start_cards is None:
   self.cards = []
  else:
   self.cards = start_cards[:]

 def add(self, card):
  self.cards.append(card)
  
 def bestscore(self):
  (score, bestcards) = self.besthand()
  return score

 def bestcards(self):
  (score, bestcards) = self.besthand()
  return bestcards

 def besthand(self):
  """ What's the highest possible score for this hand?
  Limitations: one card per class, no more than 5
  cards in total
  Return (score, best_hand)
  """
  score_by_class = { }
  card_by_class = { }
  for card in self.cards:
    try:
      s = cardscore(card)
      card_class = cardclass(card) 
    except KeyError, err:
      raise KeyError("Invalid card name '%s'" % card)
    if card_class not in score_by_class:
      score_by_class[card_class] = s
    if s >= score_by_class[card_class]:
      score_by_class[card_class] = s
      card_by_class[card_class] = card
  # We now have the best scoring card in each
  # class. But we can only use the best 5.
  cards = card_by_class.values()
  cards.sort(lambda x,y: cmp(cardscore(x),cardscore(y)))
  if len(cards) > 5:
    cards = cards[0:5]
  tot = 0
  for card in cards:
    tot += cardscore(card)
  best_hand = Hand(cards)
  return (tot, best_hand)

 def merge(self, hand):
  """ Merge this hand and another to return a new one """
  ans = self.copy()
  for c in hand.cards:
   ans.add(c)
  return ans

 def copy(self):
  return Hand(self.cards)
 
 def __str__(self):
  return ', '.join(['%s (%d)' % (c, cardscore(c)) for c in self.cards])

 def card_in_class(self,class_name):
  """Returns a card in the given class, if the hand has one"""
  for card in self.cards:
   (s,c) = deck[card] 
   if c == class_name:
    return card
  # No match
  return None

 def description(self):
   card_order = [self.card_in_class(c) for c in category_list]
   card_order = filter(lambda x: x is not None, card_order)
   return ' '.join(card_order)
Now we can define a game with a number of players, and specify how many copies of the deck we want to use for the game:
class Game(object):
 def __init__(self, player_count, deck_multiple=2):
   self.player_count = player_count
   self.deck_multiple = deck_multiple
   self.player_hands = { }
   for i in range(1,1+player_count):
     self.player_hands[i] = Hand()
   self.shuffle_deck()
   self.community = Hand()

 def shuffle_deck(self):
   self.deck = []
   for i in range(self.deck_multiple):
    self.deck.extend(deck.keys())
   random.shuffle(self.deck)

 def deal(self, cards_per_player):
   for p in range(1,1+self.player_count):
     for c in range(cards_per_player): 
       card = self.deck.pop()  # might run out
       self.player_hands[p].add(card)

 def deal_community(self, community_cards):
   self.community = Hand()
   for c in range(community_cards):
    card = self.deck.pop()
    self.community.add(card)

 def get_community(self):
  return self.community

 def best_hand(self, player_num):
   h = self.player_hands[player_num]
   # Expand the hand with any community cards
   h2 = h.merge(self.community)
   return h2.besthand()
Finally, we have some code to demonstrate the game being played. We give 5 cards each to 4 players, and have 3 community cards which they can use. We display each player's best hand and score, and announce the winner:
if __name__ == '__main__':
 player_count=4
 g = Game(player_count=player_count, deck_multiple=2)
 # Everyone gets 5 cards
 g.deal(5)
 # There are 3 community cards
 g.deal_community(3)
 print "Community cards: %s\n" % g.get_community()
 winner = None
 win_score = 0
 for p in range(1,1+player_count):
  (score, hand) = g.best_hand(p)
  print "Player %d scores %d with %s" % (p, score, hand)
  print "  which is a %s" % hand.description()
  if score > win_score:
    winner = p
    win_score = score
 print "\nPlayer %d wins!" % winner

Don't judge my Python, y'all; it's quick and dirty Python 2.7. If I wanted a code review, I'd have set this up in GitHub.

So what does this look like when it runs? Here are a few games played out:


Community cards: Christian (0), Native-American (13), Gay (9)

Player 1 scores 40 with Non-Christian (4), Gay (9), Native-American (13), Black (14)
 which is a Gay Black Non-Christian Native-American
Player 2 scores 22 with Christian (0), Bourgeois (0), Gay (9), Native-American (13)
 which is a Bourgeois Gay Christian Native-American
Player 3 scores 30 with Destitute (2), Satanist (6), Gay (9), Native-American (13)
 which is a Destitute Gay Satanist Native-American
Player 4 scores 42 with Female (8), Gay (9), Muslim (12), Native-American (13)
 which is a Gay Muslim Native-American Female

Player 4 wins!


Community cards: Non-Christian (4), Bourgeois (0), Furry (5)

Player 1 scores 24 with Straight (0), Destitute (2), Non-Christian (4), Furry (5), Native-American (13)
 which is a Destitute Furry Non-Christian Native-American Straight
Player 2 scores 26 with Bourgeois (0), East-Indian (3), Non-Christian (4), Furry (5), Black (14)
 which is a Bourgeois Furry Black Non-Christian East-Indian
Player 3 scores 30 with Bourgeois (0), Non-Christian (4), Furry (5), Oriental (7), Black (14)
 which is a Bourgeois Furry Black Non-Christian Oriental
Player 4 scores 33 with Destitute (2), Handicapped (6), Muslim (12), Native-American (13)
 :which is a Destitute Handicapped Muslim Native-American
Player 4 wins!


Community cards: Transgender (10), Muslim (12), Oriental (7)

Player 1 scores 53 with Handicapped (6), Transgender (10), Hispanic (11), Muslim (12), Black (14)
 which is a Handicapped Black Muslim Hispanic Transgender
Player 2 scores 33 with Bourgeois (0), White (0), Transgender (10), Hispanic (11), Muslim (12)
 which is a Bourgeois White Muslim Hispanic Transgender
Player 3 scores 40 with Furry (5), Transgender (10), Muslim (12), Native-American (13)
 which is a Furry Muslim Native-American Transgender
Player 4 scores 37 with Destitute (2), Handicapped (6), Oriental (7), Transgender (10), Muslim (12)
 which is a Destitute Handicapped Muslim Oriental Transgender

Player 1 wins!

What does this prove? Nothing really, it was kinda fun to write, but I don't see any earthshaking philosophical insights beyond the fact that it's a rather silly game. But then, that's true for its real life analogue as well.

Programming challenge: build a function to instantiate a Hand() from a string e.g. "black east-indian handicapped female" and use this to calculate the canonical score. Bonus points if you can handle missing hyphens.

2018-01-10

How To Not Get Your Ass Kicked by James Damore's lawyer

With apologies to Chris Rock

CEOs of major tech companies often worry that they might be the victims of political conservative persecution, so as a public service the Hemiposterical Blog proudly presents:

How not to get your ass kicked by James Damore's lawyer

Have your firm ever been face-to-face with a James Damore lawsuit and wondered, "Is his lawyer about to kick my ass?" Well, wonder no more. If you follow these easy tips, you'll be fine.

Communicate with care

You've heard people say, "Man, I wouldn't say that shit if I were you." Well, here’s some of that shit:

  • Calling people Nazis
  • Threatening to punch Nazis
  • Blocking contact with co-workers
  • Blacklisting co-workers
  • Denigrating men
  • Calling for people with non-liberal views to be fired

You know, you probably won't get your ass kicked in a lawsuit if you just use common sense.

If you make an intemperate comment about diversity then you might just get off with opprobrium from Breitbart; but if you allow a systematic campaign against white people in general and men in particular in your company then, maybe, you need your ass kicked.

Turn that shit off

Here's a no brainer: if your company's employees are spending half their time making SJW postings, then find the bulletin boards and mail lists generating those prejudicial posts and turn that shit off. Giving free rein to employees to make memes about punching Republican co-workers is just ignorant.

Filter your candidates

You want to hire a new employee? Not so fast, your candidate might be crazy! Before you let the candidate in the company, ask them these questions:

  • Do you tweet 20+ times a day on social justice issues?
  • Do you write ill-conceived rants on public blogs and forums?
  • Do you regard 60%+ of the country as basically Nazis?

If you want to hire a new employee, get a libertarian. They don't care what anyone else does as long as they're left alone.

If you get sued

And in case you do get sued, remind your employees to do this one thing:

Shut the fuck up!

If you follow these simple pointers, you probably won’t get your ass kicked by James Damore's lawyer.

2017-08-25

Dog poop smeared to no effect

An update to yesterday's post about San Francisco insanity: it seems that the idea of spreading poop on Crissy Field is not universally welcomed, and ironically the offending Patriot Prayer group have cancelled their rally. No data yet on how much poop was already spread...

Poop protest mastermind Tuffy Tuffington is no doubt gutted. Incidentally, could his photo be more hipster?

  • Beard: check
  • Heavily rimmed glasses: check
  • Tattoos: check
  • Beer (craft, no doubt): check
I hope he's planning to go pick up all the mis-directed poop this evening, though somehow I doubt it.

2017-08-24

San Franciscans losing their sh*t about a right wing free speech event

This Saturday, the right wing group (but decidedly not a hate group) Patriot Prayer is holding a free speech rally at Crissy Field beach in San Francisco:

GGNRA acting general superintendent Cicely Muldoon said in the statement Wednesday that the park service “cannot deny a permit to anyone planning to exercise their First Amendment rights based on their political stance or beliefs.”
Must confess, I'd have preferred Ms Muldoon to say "should not" rather than "cannot" there, but I'll take what I can get.

The traditionally left-leaning San Franciscans are accepting this with resignation, realizing that the same principles protecting the speech of people they dislike also protect their own speech.

Kidding! They're going to cover the beach with dog crap:

Hundreds of San Franciscans plan to prepare Crissy Field, the picturesque beach in the shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge where rightwing protest group Patriot Prayer will gather, with a generous carpeting of excrement.
Well, I suppose it's better than leaving the poop on the city streets

Maybe it's a canine-/human-poop-borne virus that has rotted the brains of the San Franciscans to the point where they think that smearing feces across one of their own picturesque beaches is a great plan. Maybe it's all the weed. Maybe it's Karl the Fog. But my goodness, they have a serious problem there quite aside from the poop epidemic.

Luckily San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee (Democratic, astonishingly) is providing a firm moral lead to the city at this difficult time:

"The great American trend tolerating speech and opinions that we might disagree with will be celebrated this weekend in our city," San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee said.
Oh wait, sorry, that was from the Mirror Universe. Actual quote:
"The shameful, anti-American trend of hate-filled extremist rallies will unfortunately be allowed to continue this weekend in our city," San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee said.
Oh dear. Do you think someone should enroll him in Civics 101 and start walking him through the text of the First Amendment?

Apparently nearly the entire San Francisco Police Department will be on duty this Saturday. I hope they spend most of the time ticketing the poop-spreaders and making them pick up the mess. With their hands.

2017-02-11

Erdogan and his nocturnal ovine pleasuring habits

Like many others who support free speech, I was very disappointed in yesterday's decision by a Hamburg court that it stands by its ban of a satirical poem by German comedian Jan Böhmermann. Herr Böhmermann, not a big fan of the Turkish president Recep Tayyip Erodgan and his oppression of both people and speech, narrated this poem "Schmägedicht" ("Defamation Poem") on his show on 31st March 2016.

Here's the original reading: if you have any German speakers in the room with you then now would be an excellent time to send them out.

Jan Böhmermann - Erdogan Gedicht (Jan Boehmermann Erdogan poem) (English subtitled) from mjchris on Vimeo.

As a public service, here is my transcription of the original text, plus a translation.

GermanEnglish
Sackdoof, feige und verklemmt Stupid as fuck, cowardly and uptight
Ist Erdogan, der Präsident is Erdogan, the president.
Sein Gelöt stinkt schlimm nach Döner His erection reeks of Doner kebab;
selbst ein Schweinefurz riecht schöner Even a pig fart smells better.
Er ist der Mann, der Mädchen schlägt He's a man who hits girls
und dabei Gummimasken trägt while wearing rubber masks.
Am liebsten mag er Ziegen ficken He loves most to fuck goats
und Minderheiten unterdrücken and repress minorities.
 
Kurden treten, Christen hauen Kicking Kurds, beating Christians
und dabei Kinderpornos schauen while gazing at kiddie porn.
Und selbst abends heisst’s statt schlafen And at night, instead of sleep,
Fellatio mit hundert Schafen Performs fellatio on a hundred sheep.
Ja, Erdogan ist voll and ganz Yes, Erdogan truly is
ein Präsident mit kleinem Schwanz A president with a small dick.
 
Jeden Türken hört man flöten Every Turk will tell you
die dumme Sau hat Schrumpelklöten the stupid pig has wrinkled balls.
Von Ankara bis Istanbul From Ankara to Istanbul
weiss jeder, dieser Mann ist schwul everyone knows this man's a poof,
pervers, verlaust und zoophil perverse, lice-ridden, an animal fucker.
Recep “Fritzl Priklopil” Recep (Josef) Fritzl (Wolfgang) Priklopil [the famous perverts]
 
Sein Kopf so leer wie seine Eier His head as empty as his balls,
der Star auf jeder Gangbang-Feier the star of every gangbang party.
Bis der Schwanz beim Pinkeln brennt Until his cock burns when he pisses
das is Recep Erdogan, der türkische Präsident That’s Recep Erdogan, the Turkish president.

The court assessment was that only 6 of the 24 lines were acceptable: you can view their transcript with "unacceptable" lines marked in red. Interestingly they didn't seem to object to the suggestion that Erdogan likes wearing rubber masks while beating girls.

Germany and Turkey, of course, have the right to make whatever laws they desire about the limits on free speech and criticism of women-beating dictators. We in turn have the right to tell them what we think of their laws, and of Recep Tayyip Erdogan - and in the future, whenever we see President Erdogan on screen, hear in our minds the bleating of a hundred happy sheep.