Bay Area digital road signs - some new messages

While driving along the freeway today (6 lane divided highway, 65 mph speed limit) there was one of the CalTrans digital information signs mounted on a trailer on the shoulder. These sometimes warn you of local hazards ("SHOULDER CLOSED AHEAD") or maybe more general public information ("SERIOUS DROUGHT HELP SAVE WATER"). This one caused my eyebrows to raise because it said "WATCH OUT FOR PEOPLE IN ALL ROADWAYS". Not the specific "ROAD WORK AHEAD, MEN IN ROAD" but instead an almost completely useless message with no specificity of time or location. And yet, someone had taken the time to add the message and show in on the freeway, so I can only imagine that random people wandering along the freeway is, or has been, a real problem.

This got me thinking about what messages might actually be useful and relevant to Bay Area drivers, based on the past few years of experience driving on their roads. I would suggest:

• MIRRORS: THEY'RE NOT JUST FOR YOUR MAKE-UP
• WHEN YOU REVERSE, THINGS COME AT YOU FROM BEHIND
• INDICATORS: NOT JUST FOR WHEN YOU'RE PARKED IN A FIRE LANE
• YOUR F-350 TRUCK IS NOT AN ELECTRIC VEHICLE, DON'T PARK IN THOSE BAYS
• DRIVER WEIGHING 400LBS DOES NOT MAKE YOUR CAR A HIGH OCCUPANCY VEHICLE
• LOOK FURTHER AHEAD THAN THE CAR IN FRONT ONCE IN A WHILE
• PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN, WE'RE NOT KIDDING
• DON'T PARK DIRECTLY ON A CORNER
• LET MERGING TRAFFIC IN AHEAD OF YOU, YOU SELFISH GIT
• INSURANCE: IT'S NOT OPTIONAL
• DON'T DRIVE AND EAT TAKEOUT FOOD FROM YOUR LAP
• THERE'S A TRUCK IN YOUR BLIND SPOT
• CHECK YOUR DAMN TIRE PRESSURE ONCE IN A WHILE

and let's not forget:

• VISITING THE DMV? ABANDON ALL HOPE