A Herefordshire farmer was selected for an audit by the Department for Work and Pensions. They sent a representative out to interview him.
"I need a list of your employees, and how much you pay them," demanded the officious civil servant.
"Well," replied the farmer, "there's my farm hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him £200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her £150 per week plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about £10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Glenfiddich every now and then."
"That's the guy I want to talk to... the half-wit." says the DwP representative.
"That would be me," replied the farmer.